that day before i finish work and reach home..
i send whan a whatsapp message..
telling her that i had a girl out with my baby of 5months old..

thinking that will make her break up with me..
although i was laughing while on my way home..
but i think that wont work and will only cause myself trouble..

after i reach home she seem so helpless..
and stupid me soften my heart..
telling her i was just joking..

after awhile she told me she actually believe what i said..
before i told her it was just a joke..
although this kind of joke is way too much..

but the despo for me to be alone is even more..
i dont know what i can do..
sometimes i see her i will smile or laugh..

but all those are not from my heart..
whenever i see her my heart pain alot..
so pain till i felt im like a fool for making us both in pain..

seriously dont know what to do..
or cant even do..ppl always said if there is chance for you to do a thing..
but didnt do you will regret it..

doing what you want when chance comes is no regret if things didnt went well..
at least you did what you wanted..
the only regret is when chance is there but didnt do anything about it..

im so afraid i will regret..
but im just so lazy to even move a bit to what i really wants or feel..
and that seriously sux..