Sometimes i wonder..

izzit this world is getting out of hand or is just me..

each day i grow older..

and each day i find that things in life is getting worst..

dont really know how to explain..cos i dont even know what is really going on..

but in life since i was young..

didnt have what i or other kids should have..

i was brought up in a broken family..

although i have no mother's love..

but when i was 14 i've found someone that willing to be my mommy ^^

she taught me quite alot..but it wasnt enough..

everyone has it place and time..

even thought i have my grandma's love since the day i dont have mother's..

but grandma is still grandma..

God-mommy is still God-mommy..

although i have my father..but seriously we dont understand each other at all..

or maybe is just me who is not being understanding enough..

sometimes i blame him for not giving me a normal family..

but who knows what is really happening in his life..

everyone is this world is just like in the TV..

everyone is the main role in their life..

izzit im really that stupid or i just keep blaming and not dare to face what is actually coming..

sometimes i think alot..and sometimes i dont even want to think..

cos thinking seriously is a very tiring job..

he say knowlegde is important..cos im too stupid..

but i think money is everything..

if things i need to know but first i need to have the money to even try it..

or feelings that i never felt before i also need money to even live..

anyway i just dont know how a person should live in life..

not that i dont want learn or so..

but without money i can do nth in life..

to do so..i work..and spending so much time in work..

i have no time for others..or even if i want do other things..

money is once again in my mind..

i've seen different kind of ppl..

ppl who is born in a sliver spoon..father damn rich..

and his son is like : haiz..im so bored..my father has it own company..making big money..

and his only son rather work part time job and SLACK..

is he trying to show off or izzit he is having other problem but money..

maybe..maybe been rich you wont get parent's love..

but what abt being poor..how do you define parent's love..

at times say you this and that..? or trying to really know how your kids is thinking and all..

or just giving money every now and then..

yes i do agree..money is not EVERYTHING..

but without money..how can you do others..

haiz..im just dont want to make my first move..

cos i dont know which way to go..and i dont want get hurt..

i've been wounded enough..but who knows..

*********

i finish work i came home and i dont want do or think..

so i went to slp..i though i will wake up the next day morning and go to work..

since i have no one to hang around and to talk to..

then i just hope i can work slp work and slp..

today's sales was not bad i think..

end work at 6pm..but knock off at 7pm..

didnt really have the chance to leave..

this girl in work i find she is cute ^^

but she has bf..haha XD

i dont know izzit i've no love..so any girl that is cute i like..

but anyway now im only thinking of MONEY..!i!

and money is all i can think of now..

AR..!i! LIFE SUX..!i!

I WANT CRY NOW..!i!

i feel im such a failiure..i've got no frenz to accompany when im off..

or even to go out to just catch a movie..!i!

WHY..!i!

am i really that bad or sux to with fren with..

although im a bit stupid and have not much knowlegde..

so what..

i listens to radio and this station says..

even if you are the richest person in this world..without love you are still poor..

i think is rubbish..!i! MONEY CAN BUY ANYTHING..

with money i can have all kind of love..even if its fake is also love..

i've move from near my fren to away and all bcos i dont have a nice family which others have..

i dont do bad things..im not edu but i also not ah beng ugh..

im just a normal person like other normal ppl in this world..

but yet im not treat normally..

i lie to myself i lie to everyone that im lucky..

even times i dont even know what i say or do is it really me..

ppl say family is the closest ppl you can even have..

but i just not into family type..

i want frenz but frenz dont want me..

i want a gf but yet the harder i try the harder i cant get..

is all this fair..and life was never fair..

i use to think from the bad side..makes me emo and depress..

mommy always say think on the bright side..

so i always tell myself how many ppl dont even have clothes or food to eat..

im lucky im normal..i can walk and work..

just that i no mother..sometimes i think law is good to keep me safe..

but sometimes i really hope there is no laws..i want kill everyone..ppl that hurts me and make my life sux..

at this very moment..i finally can cry..

after so long..almost a year and i finally can cry..

i finally can let everything out..

i've got no one to talk to abt my life..the hate to this world..

everything was inside my heart..my mind..drives me crazy seriously..

i just want feel loved..am i too selfish..

being nice and good doesnt really gives me good reward back..

i was once or should i say i am a person that goes chruch..

ppl inside say you do your best and god will do the rest..

then can i ask..when is my turn god will see..

or are you trying to tell me i didnt try hard enough..

i really cant carry on any longer..

i really cant..

today i went Junction 8 O.T again ^^

but i was kinda late cos when i leave Orchard Central to Junction 8..

then i saw Shereen's sms ask me to bring 1 roll of a dollar coin over..

haiz..make me run back lar..

so yup~ i've finish and reach home ^^

today only 2crew working neh..first time sia..

okie lar..not really first time..

when i JUST started working in Junction 8 closing..

someone didnt come and left me and cherrie neh..

but she pro lar..so still okie ^^

but anyway that is not the point i want say..

Just Now..!i! only got 4 female and me 1 handsome boy ^^

haha XD but there is 3 pretty lady i've work with before..

so of cos is not talking abt them right ^^ yup yup~

is this girl i want talk abt..you know at the very first sight..

i find she is cute and adorable..until she open her mouth..

not bcos she got bad breath or what lar..

jus her voice like a bit low le..

but you know what..when we was inside the transport..

she keep sms..i think she got bf ler T_T

so nvm..anyway she lives at CCK..near my mommy's hse..

haiz..i think i now just keep working and carry on my life ba..

stop thinking of girl ^^ no money how to have sg girls right..

so yup yup~ she is really kinda cute ^^

today damn tired sia @-@

today morning i reach early so i went ta bao breakfast..

very long never eat Big Breakfast ler..although is very hard to bite..

but they left it there too long..but its still taste nice ^^

and the Coke was perfect im telling you..WoohooO~

but i bought the small size..haiz~

then we was so busy until 4pm then took my lunch ^^

although was busy but was fun ^^

then went to Junction 8 kisok work till now..

lucky i didnt stay there too long..almost miss my last train home ^^

tml im working morning 10am to 6pm ^^

and im broke..zero dollar in my bank and pocket..damn sad..

haiz..i keep seeing cpl all around..

make me so jealous and hurt deeply..

but its okie i think..the most cry only ma..anyway i also didnt pay my tears bill..

so no one can see if im really crying..haha XD so lame~

anyway the pic below is Big Breakfast ^^

Wooohoooo~

tml is my off day and i've got no money and no one to go out..

that so sad..so i shall say abt today then ^^

just now before i was abt to start doing my closing of today ^^

i went out SMOKE..!i! thats me ^^

then a stranger jus pop out like there is some magic o.O?

okie that's a bit too over..

anyway this guy tell me and ask me damn a loads of stuffs..

he never say what his job is all abt..

but anyway i bet is some stupid MLM again..

if im not wrong is call the Muilt Level Marketing..

its just use to cheat those ppl who always dreams alot..

dont know why this week alot this kind of thing is finding me..

my camp frenz..a stranger..damn..im already very lost..dont make me worst can..

for god-sake..but anyway..just now inside bus 7 on the way home..

a guy a this bus-stop wave at bus 7..but the driver didnt stop..cos its suppose to stop at another stop..so i think that guy know he try to run to the next bus-stop which is only across a street..

guess what..the driver slow down and then speed up _l_ F right..

make that poor guy run for nth..but i keep laughing XD

so thats it for today ^^

feeling lonely and lost..

wonder what i really wants..but right now i need someone special to hug on..

so Ciaoz~

today O.T at Junction 8 ^^

but no familiar faces =( but today was okie cos is already over ^^

again i forgot to bring back my apron..

and my next working day will be on friday..

and once again my thumb bleeds..

but this time different station and different hand.. T_T

Haiz..i think i cant go there work anymore..keep getting hurt.. or maybe too miss the old days so keep leaving my blood there to make it feels home..haha XD

okie that is a bit sick..

maybe i lost of blood..a little too much..haha XD

and im home now after bath ^^

tml suppose to be my off day..but now is wednesday..

and tml doing closing..sad..haiz..dont say ler..

hope i can wake up damn early to drop by Junction 8 to take my apron ^^ anyway

i took a lot of pics..

some is made by mine ^^

and some is by our Part Time Manager David..

so please do enjoy ^^

By - David 6Hearts ^^

By - Mine Mini Pizza Delight ^^

By - David ( dont know what it call )



By - Mine Banana Hazelnut with Cherries ^^

By - Mine Banana Hazelnut ^^

By - Mine A Breakfast that cost your life but cant even fill your stomach ^^

Oh man..im so gonna post this thing..

we finish our closing at around 11.48pm..

i actually wanted to cross the street to wait for my bus..

but is like everytime i have to walk that long dark alley..

so i decided to take train..and when i walk near to the train station..

its says 1min to train come..and its last..

so i ran all the way..when i reach there..

i SAW it with my OWN eyes the train door closes..

and the next second the station says The Last Train Going Towards City and Marina Bay has left..haiz..lucky i still got my last bus..i also dont know why i want to run..haiz..

hmmm~ i think thats all..actually i got 1 more thing in mind..but i kinda forgot it..

so maybe other time i rmb then i post..haha XD

reach home safe and sound ^^

tml is my off day lor..

can go cut my hair and become handsome once again ^^

although im also handsome with long hair..Eeee..haha XD

but i think im more handsome with short hairs..

tml going rot at home the whole day..

anyway i also no money to go out after i bought my this NEW CPU..

haha XD now so tired..want slp ler..pass few days didnt have enough slp..

This coming whole week im working closing all the way T_T
although i should be very happy..cause dont need wake up so early..
but i want go out le..night cannot go out..T_T
and everyone there is part timer..as in most of the ppl there..

i always closing kitchen very sianz~
cos i feel like clearing ppl's shit..
i also dont know want to complaint anot..
but whenever i say this or that never do or done..
she will say i also never do this or that..

but even so..i believe i've done 9 out of 10..
and she just did 6 out of 10..
mine is i forgot..her's is bcos she is not the closer..

haiz..anyway today b4 i start work..went to Raffles Hospital's Coffee Bean take thing..
and Iluma too..omg~ the weather is damn hot..and lots of ppl walking around lar..
just like chinese new year in chinatown..
even the station also cannot move..ppl keep push around..

today is National Day..not much ppl after 8pm..
cos all sure go see Fireworks ma..
i still rmb my last time watch that..but is all past..
think ler will only make myself feel sad and hurt =(

no pics for today ^^
but after i cut my hair im gonna take ^^
so you guys/girls wont forget how handsome i am ^^ haha XD

haha XD so many days never post ler..

a little bit lazy and also nothing to post about..

is all about work..dont want keep complaint and complaint..

anyway my life now is like last time..work, game, sleep ^^

nothing else..hope i can save up and get myself a motorbike ^^

cause im going to be more and more handsome ^^

thats for this week ^^

Wooo~ tml is my off day lor..
today was so busy FOR ME..alone doing all the food really can die..
aunty so pro..although today Shereen ask 1 more person come early..
in case i cant take it..but end up no much different..
cos im still doing it all alone..

but i swear i clean as i go..until i get so angry that outside was so free..
and i still have to do everything myself..
then i realize the time..it was already 3.30pm..
but only throwing rubbish time..its only 15mins i think..
cos of the stupid lift so long then come..
my place was in a big messy..just because is not their station..

everyone there is so..i dont know how to spell..
just all so care for themselves..and lazy..
if i want list down the things i do for them..they can all give me half of their pay..
im so tired of working now..seriously..never felt this way..

izzit because last time is at KFC..
but what is the diff right..is still under F&B..
damn angry..seriously..if such a nice person can even angry..
is seriously getting worst..haiz..anyway tml i off..so just give it..

so hungry..until 6pm..didnt get the chance to cut hair..
maybe next time ba ^^ now eating food ler..haha XD

today actually is 6pm end de..but went O.T
so now then finish everything and blog once again ^^

below have a few pics..my hp cant keep too many pics..
so only took what i think is worth keeping..
and today at work i burn myself again..but only 2fingers..
sobsob T_T so pain lar..now still pain..




this is my new CPU ^^

and this is me when my shoulder is hurt..

and this is Teddy..but he is no longer with us..T_T
i mean he post to other outlet lar..not *cough..
but i find that he and me can click well..maybe we both are same type..
as in character..now gay please..

and this cake is i walk under the bright hot sun and buy for AUNTY xiao qing's 21st birthday i think..and after she happy happy share with others..i have to clean up..
so sad right..help her end up bring myself more things to do..

The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf got hired ppl and post on newspaper..
so i took it down..although cant really see..haha XD

and jus guess what drink is this..is myself make de..
Banana Hazelnut Ice Blended ^^

i jus find this nice so took it down..hehe ^^

and this is i find it weird so took it down..
i wanted do a Breakfast meal..then the egg has blood in it..
Eeee..so i took it down and throw it away..

im back..once again..
i bought my new CPU ler..haha XD
got alot feelings to say or to tell someone..but i didnt have the chance..
anyway i now also forgot ler..
so anyway tml i working morning..so after tml then i post the pics i took for the pass few days..
without my comp ^^ miss me right..haha XD

Ciaoz~